Cost-cutting Consequences

Like every other company, our company has caught cost-cutting fever. Gone is a color copier. Anything that can, has gone digital. There is dramatically less free food leftover from meetings. But none of these things have caused the amount of water cooler chat as the elimination of milk. Because I'm part of the growing lactose intolerant population, I've never paid much attention to the milk supply but I seriously couldn't avoid the topic. People just couldn't stop talking about it. It's to the point that my colleague keeps her milk in a baby bottle to ensure noone touches her precious milk. As Cathy would say "Ack!"

Anyway don't feel too bad for us. The milk was temporarily suspended but it's now back in limited quantities. And it's been made clear that the milk is only for coffee. Apparently people were using it for their daily cereal. Can we say moral hazard?

All-Time Festivus Grievance: Crazy Craisins

I got a grievance to air. How in the world are Craisins still on the market? 2008 marks the 15th anniversary of these little boogers. Let's back it up. Or as George Costanza would do, picture George's palms beckoning you towards him as he goes "beep...beep" I was the first person in line, prepared to sing from the rooftops about this amazing hybrid invention. I like cranberries. I like raisins. Ergo, no doubt I would LOVE craisins!

So imagine my dismay when I find out they are none other than freakin' dried cranberries!!! As a marketer, I should praise them for their ingenious way of duping consumers to pay double the price for a product that is as old as Thanksgiving. However this is one of those times when being a marketer and a civilian are in conflict. I am so offended by Craisins that I might have to start a boycott petition.

BOO CRAISINS!!!




Fro Yo and W suggested I share my Craisin gripe with the blogging community, so I dedicate this gripey post to them.

Boo J. Crew!

Jemifus doesn't understand why I'm so worked up about this. But I'm sure Meddlesome or W can empathize. Who doesn't love the deliciousness that is the J. Crew catalogue? I almost cried with joy at the spectacularness of the issue shot in Paris. Oui Oui!

So imagine my anguish, disappointment and shock when I placed an order that racked up a shipping charge of $15 and did not receive my package. The thing is, a confirmation email was issued promptly to me after I hit the "Order Now" button...kindly reminding me of the exorbitant costs of the items I purchased. Well, a few days later I check JCrew.com and see that my order has shipped. So I patiently wait for my 'final sale' cashmere sweaters to arrive, pretending that I don't see the mailroom delivery guy bypassing my office every day and dropping important looking packages to my colleague next door.

Skip to present day - which is 11 days after my online purchase - I email Jcrew customer service. My first note is very matter-of-fact, merely inquiring for details on the status of my order. The response I receive makes my blood boil. Apparently UPS was unable to deliver because they didn't have a suite number. That is such bullcrap. I can't tell you how much I hate UPS. I'm sure www.UPSsucks.com already exists but if it doesn't, somebody should set that up. But I digress. So the response email also says that I can either write back with my complete shipping address or contact UPS directly. Isn't it interesting that J.Crew can be so conscientious about sending me a confirmation email telling me about all the money I owe them for my purchase but isn't so good about emailing me when there are delivery issues for items I've already paid for?! My next email to Jcrew customer service is as follows:

"Dear Angela (J Crew rep),

My shipping address is: blah blah blah.

Can you please expedite my shipping without charging me extra? I think it is unacceptable that noone contacted me about this. First of all, I work for a company that can locate me in the system with the address provided sans building number. Second of all, what would have happened if I did not contact you? Would you never have delivered my package? Lastly, I order frequently from Jcrew.com. What incentive do I have for continuing to shop online if I can't trust the shipping service?"

So I ask those not named Jemifus, do you think my note was too harsh or a bit melodramatic? I think not!

Against the Norm

It's official; Norm Chow has gone over to the dark side. That's probably why he looks so distraught in this picture.

Grody Neighbors

I generally dislike people. So it's not surprising that I have less than love for my neighbors. Don't we all have crazy neighbors in our 'hood? But mine aren't just crazy - they're grody! I'll call them the Grodies.

I live in the middle unit on the first floor of a condo complex. Also important to know is that my unit is in between the elevator and the grody neighbors' unit. This is significant because quite frequently, they lug crap from their luxury import car to their unit via a stolen Target shopping cart. Oh yeah, the floors are tile too. So picture me, lounging peacefully on my couch perusing my People magazine and then the jolting "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM" coming by. It takes me a few minutes for my heart rate to go down and back to enjoying the "Stars - They're Just Like Us" section...okay you got me, I'm really reading US Magazine but I thought People sounded more respectable. Anyway that's not the point. As I'm back in my blissful state, "BOOM BOOM BOOM" again! And though it's annoying to be jolted twice, it's better than the alternative - the Grodies have a tendency to leave the shopping cart in the courtyard instead of taking it back to the underground garage. Even more annoying than that, they sometimes have the nerve to push the cart in front of other people's units so it's out of their way!

There are just so many wrongs there that I don't know where to begin. It's inconsiderate to make all that noise. It's lazy considering they could just make multiple trips; they are both able-bodied very fit, bordering anorexic people. It's totally criminal and don't think I haven't considered reporting them to the Shopping Cart Association. And the worse I think is that they're causing our place to look ghetto! I moved out of L.A. proper into the burbs of Pasadena. And for that sacrifice, I expect to live in a picturesque setting!

And if it was just that shopping cart, maybe I could deal. But what really puts me over the top is that they treat our common courtyard as their own. All of the units have huge patios; they're about 400 square feet. Yet the Grodies insist on wining and dining in the courtyard, which is annoying enough to see their stupid faces when I come home at night. But it gets worse, they leave remnants of their eating behind. WTF - this is not a hotel!


Actually what REALLY pushes my blood to boil is the Grodies have grody cats! Keep in mind, all of the units are around 1100 square feet. That's pretty good for a couple and maybe one medium-sized pet. But the Grodies have THREE ginormous cats. I've never seen cats like these - they are each easily 3 times the size of a chihuahua. Do you even dare imagine what the Grodies' unit smells like? And the Grodies let their creepy cats out in the courtyard unattended all the time. Can you imagine how frightening it is to step out of your door at night and see 3 pairs of crazy cat eyes staring at you. And these cats don't scare easily. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Even grodier than the unattended freakishly large cats is when they are being attended by their anorexic owner who likes to comb their feline hair in the courtyard.


I'm pretty sure the Grodies know I have contempt for them. I've been pondering what the appropriate behavior is when I see them...currently I don't acknowledge them. But I feel like my silence means I'm tacitly condoning their grodiness. Any tips would be much appreciated.

Another sleepless night...

Why is it that every time Jemifus is away I cannot turn the TV off?! It's getting progressively worse...ugh! What I don't understand is when I was single, I had no issues sticking to a normal schedule and going to bed at a decent time. So why is it that just because I am living with someone, I can't sleep when Jemifus isn't home? SO WEIRD.

Fro Yo Review: Pinkberry

I couldn't resist the temptation. There was just too much hype and buzz. I practically threw my Hamilton at the Pinkberry lady. And what did I get in return? A refreshing, tasty shaved ice treat that would have been way more refreshing and tasty without the Pinkberry signature plain yogurt mucking up the treat...blech. WTF? I realize it's 25 calories per oz. That's a very big plus. But it's not good. And it's not cheap either.

For those that have not ventured into the Asian dessert world, shaved ice is a freakin' fantastic concoction of condensed milk, some sort of sweet syrup, your choice of fruits and flavored gelatin and/or red beans, plus mochi all topped with a bed of shaved ice. And you can get quite a nice serving of this for a mere $2.50 at the Old Country Time Cafe in Alhambra.

Pinkberry puts a twist to the shaved ice by adding that disgusting yogurt to it. You also have the option to just get the yogurt with toppings. My posse and I tried both and the pics are below. Please see Abul, the camel plush, for size perspective. Also included is a pic with me and one of my posse members hanging out in the ultra-sleek store. If nothing else, it makes you feel really cool to be Pinkberrying it up.

I love Grey's but...

I really hate Rebeccah Pope. She is such a super annoying character. I don't know if it's the character or the actress but I am so happy (fingers crossed) that this is the last episode that I'll have to tolerate her annoyingness.

Please pretty please Alex Karev, do not give Rebeccah Pope any hope! Do not give her a reason to stay at Seattle Grace!

OMG I LOVE GREY'S!!!!!!!!!!! The Rebeccah Pope paragraph above was just mindless thoughts as I was watching the Grey's season finale but OH MY, did it take a turn for a gajillion times better?! Lexi Grey?! WTF! Christina and Burke no longer together?! Thank god, I was starting to think Grey's was losing its edge - between the lame Pope side story, the really obvious analogy in the last episode about not leaving a man behind and then Burke's ridiculously perfectly 'just the right amount of sap' vows. But oh yeah, Grey's totally redeemed itself at the last second!

I'm so in for the 3rd season!!!

The Unbathed Masses* of Reality TV Shows

Sorry Meddlesome...I got caught up with organizing my matte prints from Flickr and didn't pay attention to the time. So I won't have time for a long post tonight. But I do have time to be judgemental. I'm watching Maroon 5 perform "Makes Me Wonder" on the Idol results show...love this new single...note to self - buy song from Itunes tomorrow...okay back to what I was saying...watching Maroon 5 on Idol. Who lets the audience into these shows? The cameraman was panning the audience and in the lower left-hand corner I saw someone doing the move where you have both arms out at a 90 degree angle and kind of wave your body in a squiggly motion left to right, right to left. Your head leads this motion. I know I'm doing a crappy job describing this but it's a very dated move, something you can imagine Kevin James' character in Hitch doing. I mean seriously, WTF? I should be at the darn results show. My Elliot Yamin performed tonight for goodness sakes. Elliott and Adam Levine - doesn't get much better than that!

Although why I'm surprised about the lack of audience screening makes no sense since last summer I did attend a taping of Rockstar Supernova and spent a lot of quality time with an equally unscreened audience baking in the sun for hours. uh oh... I just realized... I was PART of this unscreened audience! OMG, were people watching me on Rockstar saying how ridiculous it was they let someone like me in the audience??? Huh... noooo... not possible right? i mean after all Meddlesome was with me too...

* Btw, I learned the phrase "unbathed masses" in b-school from R Grimaldo. Gotta love RG!

The V-Train is back in the station!

I'm sure you all gave up on me. I sincerely apologize if you have missed reading my posts. I strongly suspect that there is only one person out there that has noticed my absence so I better give a shout-out to her. Meddlesome - where you at!

I recently suffered from temporary insanity. I think that's the explanation because I was abnormally, ridiculously happy. And I thought it was honeymoon glow from a beyond-my-wildest-expectations vacation but usually that glow is immediately gone after the first day back at work, right? Well I was still smiling like a goofball even into week 2 back at work!! But I think I'm finally back to my surly self so I can resume my usual judgemental posts.

Like just right now, as I'm writing this post, Enrique Iglesias is performing on Dancing with the Stars. What's that all about? Who chooses the performers? I mean really, Enrique Iglesias? Dancing is no Idol but come on. What?! His music is kind of tolerable if you don't have to see him. However I happen to be watching him and in HD no less, he is frick-frackin annoying! Everytime he sings the chorus of his song that happens to include some line about "being the one", he points his index finger in the air to indicate the #1. I can't stand when singers do that. It's so literal, obvious and really insulting to the audience, don't you think? And it's SOOOOO much worse when a singer repeats the motion each freakin' time they sing the line. Like when Jordin Sparks (of Idol fame) kept spinning her finger in the air when she sang some song about being crazy in love. Like clockwork, every time she sang the word crazy, she did the finger spinning. Be ORIGINAL people!

For the record...I am NOT preggers

I had dinner with my ex-boss tonight at Senor Fred. The few chips that I had with the house salsa were delish. But since it's (as A likes to say) "crunch time," I had to refrain myself from eating the whole basket of chips. Man, I hate seeing free chips and salsa go to waste. But anyway, in an effort to cut out unnecessary calories, I only drank water while my ex-boss had like 10 margaritas. And as most of you know, it's really obvious that you're not drinking, if the person you're with is drinking. Surprisingly or maybe unsurprisingly, my ex-boss asks if I'm preggers. I'm thinking I may get this question a lot for the next 2 months leading up to my wedding.

So let me set the record straight right now, just because I'm in my 30s, 98% of my friends are married with children, I'm not drinking alcohol and am always nauseous, that doesn't mean I'm pregnant!!!!! And if any of you ask me if I'm pregnant after reading this, I'm going to be uber offended because I'm going to assume that you are mistaking my fatness for a growing fetus in my belly. And it'll be even more offensive than usual because I've just stated above that I am dieting!!!!

Another thing, just because I have stated that I am dieting, that doesn't give you the right to judge if you see me stuffing my face with a cupcake every now and then...even though I'm the most judgemental of us all!

And yes, if you are sensing that I'm really cranky, it's because I am! After all, I've been dieting for the past 2 weeks which means I've been hungry for the past 2 weeks...you'd be cranky too!

PS
I think Matthew Lillard was at Senor Fred's tonight. But since I only saw him briefly, I decided it didn't warrant a separate "Star Sighting" post.

There's a reason why DIY rhymes with die...

Okay so I know that's a little overdramatic...how about DIY rhymes with cry? If you don't know what DIY stands for, consider yourself extremely fortunate. I have been entrenched in the world of Do It Yourself for the last couple of weeks and on more than one occasion, I was either praying (and I'm not even that religious) to be transported to outerspace or holding back my tears.

The jury is out on whether buying my own bargain invitations was a good idea but the instructions on the box did imply that printing them at home would be easy as 1-2-3! After 5 hours of Jemifus, the tech wiz, trying to get it to work on our printer, we had to bug our nearby friends for use of their computer and printer. Getting it to print the right size was a snap but we didn't anticipate it taking a long time to figure out the wording and font. Btw, MACs rock - they have the best font selection ever! But then we still had to actually print all 125 of these babies. It turns out that our friends' printer wasn't grabbing the invitation due to the card stock, so we had to manually insert each invitation. Also the invitation kept getting dirty at the top, so my brilliant marketing/engineering friend came up with a snappy solution that required applying a small post-it to each invitation where the dirty spot was happening. And then we had to periodically give the printer a "cleansing" cuz the invitations would get smudged after about 20 run throughs. Are you just dying right now reading all these mind-numbing details? It took 4 people and about 12 manpower hours. And I still gotta tie the ribbon, print the RSVP cards and envelopes and assemble the whole kit and caboodle for mailing.


You see, DIY should rhyme with die!

Baby-Talking Men

Is it ever appropriate? I was reminded of this yesterday when I bumped into A and thought it'd be funny to say "Sorry" in baby-talk in front of my cousin as one of her co-workers who is madly in love with her would baby-talk to her. I'm not sure if he did it verbally or only through instant message. I almost think via IM is worse e.g. "I'm sawwie :)" Yes happy face included!

And is it really appropriate for men to use happy faces in their emails and text messages? Sure once in a while is understandable. But continuously? Again another one of my cousin's admirers is a big-time smiley face offender. He uses it more than I use the ellipsis! ... :) ...

Would you like some Gatorade with your 'Gator steak?

Reading this article about Ohio markets stocking up on alligator meat brings back fond memories of my 2004 New Orleans trip.

I was dining at, Jacques-Imo's, a favorite among locals for authentic Creole cuisine. The group I was with ordered Shrimp & Alligator Cheesecake. Naturally me being the out-of-towner was offered the first slice. It was one of those quick game-time decisions: do I offend my gracious hosts and say no way Jose? So as the wheels are quickly spinning in my head, I remember when I perused the menu, I also saw that they had Godzilla Pie so logically I figured since the Godzilla pie couldn't possibly really have gorilla in it, then there most certainly wouldn't be real alligator in the cheesecake.

Jemifus, formerly known as A, did not accompany me on this trip so of course I told him all about this experience when I got back and he, as usual, started laughing. For some reason, everytime I tell him a serious story, about 80% of the time it results in him laughing...or more like smirking! There are more details to this but due to laziness, I will spare you. (Maybe Jemifus will kindly leave a comment to this post and tell you about the Godzilla article he left in my organizer or the conversation he had with my cousin who also vouched for me that Godzilla was absolutely a gorilla...hint hint)

Anyway, it turns out that Godzilla is not a gorilla!!! AND that I ate REAL alligator! Why the heck is his name Godzilla then? That is really misleading. I will add this to my list of Festivus grievances.

Festivus Grievance: Selfish Parkers

I can't tell you how much bad parking makes my blood boil. I live in a 30+ unit condo building with only 3 guest parking spots. These spots are highly valuable because as I mentioned in a previous post, Pasadena does not allow cars to park on the street from 2-6am! Well, you can but you need to either have a permit. But in order to get a permit, you have to provide evidence that your place of residence doesn't provide enough parking spaces, which is ridiculous. Or you have to call a hotline to leave a message for a temporary overnight exemption, which you can only do 6 times a year. Anyone with a mild social life will reach this 6 night quota quite quickly so that leaves you to duke it out with the rest of your neighbors for the 3 guest spots. So it really bothers me when a jerko will take up 2 spots with their bad parking job. There are times when I've seen cars park diagonally to take up 2 spots. Who does that?!

I am proud to say I think I've single-handedly resolved this problem at my complex. I leave polite but strong notes on these jerko cars regarding their selfishness. It seems to have worked! So I suppose I really don't have a Festivus Grievance after all. Life can be good sometimes.

Worst Bridal Salon in Pasadena: Paulette's Ambiance

If you have read my post on shopping for wedding dresses, you'll know that I find it pretty un-fun. But apparently I didn't know what un-fun really was because I hadn't been to Paulette's. I was actually really looking forward to going to Paulette's because I knew 3 people who bought their dresses there and they all seemed very satisfied. However 1 of the 3 did buy her dress there before the ownership had changed hands from the original Paulette to the current owner, who we'll call Crazy Lady. That should have been a red flag. Of also important significance, which I couldn't have foreseen was that all 3 were Caucasian, which we'll be explained shortly.

So it was a Friday afternoon, An and I are pumped for the weekend and are kicking it off with a trip to Paulette's. As we walk up, we are really excited because the store is the cutest little cottage and we saw the most adorable flowergirl dress in the window. When we walk in, we're greeted by Crazy Lady who keeps asking if I'm Vivian...those who know me will know the significance of that. Anyway, I approach her with the dresses that I have torn out of magazines to give her an idea of what I'm looking for. She becomes sort of agitated and starts pointing to different dresses saying "We don't have that one, we don't have that one either, and not that one" and "Oh so you want a Monique Lhuillier dress"...and I truly got the sense that she felt like I couldn't affford a M.L. dress and that I was crazy for even bringing the picture in. So I told her I didn't want those exact dresses, they were to give her an idea of what I'm looking for. She's not very happy and only shows me one dress that was part of the magazine cut-outs I brought. I have to ask if I can look through the rest of the dresses.

So I've chosen some dresses, out of her pretty limited selection, as most of them were very traditional and ball-gowny type and I wanted modern. An comes into the dressing area with me as that's what we've done at Saks, Neiman and R-Mine and we were the only 2 customers in there. Crazy Lady prompty kicks An out of the area saying "You can't be here, this is a dressing room. Go outside" So An uncomfortably leaves the room and I'm left in the uncomfortable silence with Crazy Lady. I should actually call her Dragon Lady - that seems more appropriate. So Dragon Lady helps me into the dress and tells me not to put my shoes on because there's a raised area outside. Why would you care if I wanted to wear my shoes???? Anyway, I walk outside to show An. An approves of the dress and starts taking notes like "An likes dress, VT likes dress", notes the price and does a quick rudimentary sketch so we can jog our memory when we get home and review our shopping trip. Dragon Lady proceeds to tell An that she cannot sketch the dress. An of course says she's only trying to draw a simple idea of the dress so we can remember it, then An shows Dragon examples of the dresses she's drawn so Dragon feels comforted that we're not trying to steal the design and go make it for cheaper elsewhere. Crazy Dragon then says "Those are great sketches, you can't sketch in my store". And not to rag on An but seriously if you saw the "sketches", you would die laughing at how absurd it is to think we could go make a dress from An's drawings. Anyway so An says fine that she will only take notes. Crazy Dragon says "No notes" and An says "What?" And that's when I lay into her about how ridiculous it is that she doesn't allow her customers to take notes. Crazy Dragon responds by saying "It's my store policy. You don't need to take notes. You just need to narrow it down to 1 or 2 dresses and that's it. You obviously know what you like, you brought in those pictures". I just go off on her because she is so irrational and stupid. Both An and I were thinking separately that she was being prejudice against us because we were Asian and that meant we were of course going to go and make the dress for 1/2 the price somewhere else. I mean she did tell me I was wasting her time and using her for all her customer service. I wanted to kick her when she said that. But I controlled my urge and told her that I can't see how she can keep a sustainable business and that I was going to tell all my friends about her. So that's what I'm doing. If only there was a way to get out the word beyond my little ole blog.

Anyway to sum it up, Paulette's Ambience is the worst bridal salon ever.

Do you know what's worse than having carpal tunnel?

Having tendonitis! Yes I know a bunch of carpal victims are probably cursing me out right now, but like I approach most people who get mad at me, I just say "yeah, whatever" or if I want to be a little nicer about it, I may shrug and say "oops" but never "oopsie".

So for those who don't know the difference between carpal tunnel and tendonitis, here's the explanation from my perspective. Carpal tunnel is very painful and lasts forever, usually caused by loads of typing. Tendonitis is painful as well but caused by overexertion of whatever body area and isn't supposed to last forever. My tendonitis is from my thumb to my wrist so it's sort of in the same area as carpal, which means I have to wear a ridiculous thumb splint. This is really the most important difference in my mind.

If I had carpal, I'd be wearing this which could be mistaken for a rollerblade guard which is kind of cool in a weird athletic sort of way:

But since I have tendonitis, I wear this which will never be mistaken for an athletic glove of any sort:

In fact it's the total opposite, it's so ugly and obtrusive that my cousin forbids me to wear it with her if we're in public.

And don't get me started on the frightened confused looks I get from little kids who see me wearing this ridiculous splint...

Whoever said wedding dress shopping is fun...

is freakin' crazy! Actually it is probably fun...if you are a size 4 or smaller. I have spent the past two weekends on the search for a dress for the "big day." And out of about 50 dresses, I was only able to zip up one dress all the way. For those that have not had the joy of trying on wedding dresses, bridal salons keep clothespins and rubber bands on hand to adjust the dress. The pins and bands can cinch the dress smaller or they can keep the dress unzipped and hold the sides together. It's probably really hard to imagine unless you've seen it firsthand. It's quite genius actually. Anyway I digress, not only was I able to zip just one dress up, but I couldn't even get into a few of the dresses. These are supposed to be sample dresses for every bride to be able to try on. Makes me wonder how a lot of women try on dresses. You're probably wondering how big I am - well I am bigger than I'd like to be but I think I'm still considered average or a bit larger than the average American. I am about a size 8 - sometimes I wear size 10, and on fewer occasions I wear a size 6. So my point is, if you didn't have high self-esteem (which I do), dress shopping could really make you hate your body and wish you weren't engaged. Anyhow, because I don't want to alienate and/or drive my friends crazy by becoming one of these women that become consumed by planning their wedding, my posts will be probably continue to be centered around this subject matter. Feel free to let me know if I start sounding like a Bridezilla.