Sunday, January 20, 2008

Grody Neighbors

I generally dislike people. So it's not surprising that I have less than love for my neighbors. Don't we all have crazy neighbors in our 'hood? But mine aren't just crazy - they're grody! I'll call them the Grodies.

I live in the middle unit on the first floor of a condo complex. Also important to know is that my unit is in between the elevator and the grody neighbors' unit. This is significant because quite frequently, they lug crap from their luxury import car to their unit via a stolen Target shopping cart. Oh yeah, the floors are tile too. So picture me, lounging peacefully on my couch perusing my People magazine and then the jolting "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM" coming by. It takes me a few minutes for my heart rate to go down and back to enjoying the "Stars - They're Just Like Us" section...okay you got me, I'm really reading US Magazine but I thought People sounded more respectable. Anyway that's not the point. As I'm back in my blissful state, "BOOM BOOM BOOM" again! And though it's annoying to be jolted twice, it's better than the alternative - the Grodies have a tendency to leave the shopping cart in the courtyard instead of taking it back to the underground garage. Even more annoying than that, they sometimes have the nerve to push the cart in front of other people's units so it's out of their way!

There are just so many wrongs there that I don't know where to begin. It's inconsiderate to make all that noise. It's lazy considering they could just make multiple trips; they are both able-bodied very fit, bordering anorexic people. It's totally criminal and don't think I haven't considered reporting them to the Shopping Cart Association. And the worse I think is that they're causing our place to look ghetto! I moved out of L.A. proper into the burbs of Pasadena. And for that sacrifice, I expect to live in a picturesque setting!

And if it was just that shopping cart, maybe I could deal. But what really puts me over the top is that they treat our common courtyard as their own. All of the units have huge patios; they're about 400 square feet. Yet the Grodies insist on wining and dining in the courtyard, which is annoying enough to see their stupid faces when I come home at night. But it gets worse, they leave remnants of their eating behind. WTF - this is not a hotel!

Actually what REALLY pushes my blood to boil is the Grodies have grody cats! Keep in mind, all of the units are around 1100 square feet. That's pretty good for a couple and maybe one medium-sized pet. But the Grodies have THREE ginormous cats. I've never seen cats like these - they are each easily 3 times the size of a chihuahua. Do you even dare imagine what the Grodies' unit smells like? And the Grodies let their creepy cats out in the courtyard unattended all the time. Can you imagine how frightening it is to step out of your door at night and see 3 pairs of crazy cat eyes staring at you. And these cats don't scare easily. YUCK YUCK YUCK. Even grodier than the unattended freakishly large cats is when they are being attended by their anorexic owner who likes to comb their feline hair in the courtyard.

I'm pretty sure the Grodies know I have contempt for them. I've been pondering what the appropriate behavior is when I see them...currently I don't acknowledge them. But I feel like my silence means I'm tacitly condoning their grodiness. Any tips would be much appreciated.


Tiffanie said...

Not enough pictures Vivan!
The readers need their evidence!

Wendy Mihm said...

oh my god. this would KILL me.

The shopping cart thing is so ghetto.

Is there some mean nasty super you can report them to? Since it's a condo, you pay for the right to enjoy quiet, tidy common space. That's the definition of a condo. Now I'M all pissed off and I don't even live there.

Jemifus said...

She left out the part where she angrily pushed the shopping cart in front of their door one night after finding it close to our place. She shook her fist at their closed door and shouted an unkind remark.

Then we had to hide in our apartment when someone came knocking at 10PM (which turned out to have been someone we actually liked).